HAHA

I wished really hard for a wrapped xmas gift this year - like an ACTUAL xmas gift in a box where I don't know what it is and I had to wait for xmas to open it.

HAHAHA and I got one :)

He came by with an xmas gift just now -

I am so scared rofl that it's going to be something really bad and terrible,

but I'm happier than ever right now :)

He told me to wait until xmas to open it - AT LEAST until 12am.

:) hahaha merry xmas indeed

LIFE IS GOOD :D

Yaletown COO COO CAFE :)

I had the best caramel macchiato here - I finally finished my book on... prisons in Canada. ROFL. It was actually really interesting. I do not have weird reads at all i do not have weird reads at all i do not have weird reads at all - my next book that I've started on... is about sex offenders. LOL. They're really interesting, I swear. I'm going back to the used bookstore this Saturday to try to resell some of my books back. Ironically I got my books from there, so hopefully they won't cut down on the price on that I bought them for. Sigh.

I've missed xanga! I've had so many things that I wanted to let out and get off my chest for the past couple of days but it's just been so concentrated with so much stuff that I don't even feel like I want to re-experience it again - well there were good things and bad things. I've had a lot of fun catching up with friends, and not so much fun having to deal with other people's problems. I'm SORRY if he reads this but even though I don't mind coming out to see you at six in the morning, but I mind when you're being completely self absorbed and unresponsive - and I don't know if I've hinted this properly - I don't like your overaffectionate hugs or leaning or whatever contact. I don't really know you that well and I don't think I like you enough to deal with all your bullcrap.

This is a picture taken with my cellphone when I was in my studying for math mode. I don't know how early it was in the morning but it had to be early because my room looks super dark and usually it lets in a lot of light - probably like 2 or 3am.

It's six in the morning right now. Wait no now it's 7am. I don't know why I'm up. I decided last minute that I'm going to skip my third lesson of muai thai in a row because I'm just too tired. I don't know why I just feel like I'm obligated to go. More like because someone there gave me their gloves and i feel like that I'm more obligated to use it when he's there and be his friend ROFL I have no clue what I just said.

Well exams are over - I was studying religiously for everything and thank god i passed everything. That picture right there is full of meaning. I can see the little concave ups and downs for the fucking inflection points in the fucking graph. LOL this picture was probably taken around the same time in the morning that day too. Shit - I was having three hours. I had two hours of sleep before my physiology exam - rofl - from my mark I can see I bombed it since I dropped liek 4 percent. HAHAHAHA yea i think I was better off not studying.

I can't believe I got 70%. ROFL. I honestly cannot comprehend how I even passed math. It's all worth all the redbull and doubleshot caramel macchiatos.

Even though that period of time was hectic as hell, and I basically got no sleep - I liked it. I don't know - I had a focussed goal in the end and I didn't think of anything else really, there was no time for it. It made everything simple, and it gave me an excuse to drink lots of caffeine too. S'all good :)

Now that chem and math are over, I'm really excited for next semester - I think it will be amazing with all the hard courses out of the way.

Next semester, i HAVE:

 biomechanics, physiology and antamony (again), biology, english, psychology, active life and health.

I already have my notebooks ready - AHAHA like a true keener

Life is quite nice right now.

So I'm pulling my shit together

So I should be studying.

But I'm not.

I've been crazy stressed lately from everything and everything that I used to like seems like a chore now. But I'm not here to rant, no. I'm going to be the girl that I was again and I'm going to freaken work my ass off.

I don't dare to tell anyone this because it's an absurd thing to tell someone when you're not even halfway there, but if you're on my xanga, you can read this but you can't be judgemental about my goals. Ok, here it goes. I have an ambition. It's a bit of a secret because it's a little overboard. I want to get on Hong Kong Track & Field. Ok, it's a LONG way. And I know, it's a freaken HONG KONG team we're talking about, not a measly university varsity team, but I've done my research, and their requirements and specifications ARE achieveable - and you know, I know it's a far way away and I know that it's not easy, and no, I don't think so highly of myself that I think it'll be easily obtainable BUT here it is. That's what I want. Honest to god - I just need to break 1:01 and I'll make it. It's not that far away, but I just need to work harder. I think it's achieveable - I have many things to improve on.

Which brings us to our next point. This is the girl that I want to be. I don't want anything hindering between me and athletics anymore - fuck everything. This is my life and my prime years man, if I don't fucking take advantage of this and work 110% for myself, then who will? This is for me, not anybody else and I'll work hard to achieve my goals and ambitions. Fuck, I was so stupid for the past two weeks - nobody said this shit was easy - if it was, then everyone would be doing sprints too right? I'm going to put this in front of my mind - weight-training, athletic high-protein diets, other supplemental exercises, stretches, anything to everything. This is what I've wanted since highschool - and things just keep getting clearer and clearer - I used to be freaken happy if I made the provincials - now it's going to just get harder and bigger. I'm fucking terrified of what I want right now but I don't freaken care - it's mine. I'm 18 and I'm not going to stay like this forever - these are my prime years as an athlete. I know my personality and I know that in terms of athletics, I can always follow through with it. I'm just more worried about overtraining because my body's so freaken injury prone. But I'm not going to worry about it now - I've lived with my stupid foot tendon injury for a year now and I'm ok. Unless something really freaken shitty happens, knock on wood, I'm going to be fine.

Which brings us to our other points. I'm not studying properly. I have the attention span of a fucking goldfish because I'm trying to fucking ween myself off of goddamn coffee. Luckily I'm done all the hard shit and I just HAD sociology but holy shit my last one is going to be hardcore and I haven't done jack shit. So um, I'm giong to hardcore study my ass off tomorrow while at Woodwards or something, or Irving, idk, I haven't decided. It's going to be straight up studying. Just. Studying. Fuck man - I realise I was totally lost for these past few days slacking - but you know what? Fuck man I need to give it 110% - I realise that the reason it was so liberating in the past even though my schedule was packed with training and studying is because I knew no matter what, even if I am working my ass off, I wasn't stressed becasuse there would be no regrets because I tried my 110% and it was good enough for ME. Now even though i'm trying to 'relax' by taking it easy, it feels weird and even more stressful because I feel like, I'm not trying hard enough.

LET'S GIT ER DUN.

My life is filled with so many opportunities, fuck, I feel like I was blinded for the past few days. I hope I didn't mess myself up for physiology TOO badly : |

Now I need to continue study and stop xanga-ing for a while until I get my shit together.

stress, stress, stressed

Why doesn't anyone I know sleep?
Are they all just scared of their dreams
When they lay their heads down at night,
What are they haunted by?

Why won't anyone just close their eyes?
Could it hurt them to rest for a while?
Do they need their friend to be a lover,
Or a lover to be a friend?

Today was a really eventful day. Kinda sad but good. First of all, from 9:30am to 1:30pm I was in woodwards studying for my lab exam final. I even took a picture:

And guess what?! I still bombed it. Like straight up BOMB. I didn't know the answer to half the questions and now I'm just wishing for a pass. Not to mention the whole time it hurt to inhale or do anything because I was having incredibly bad stomach pains that were sharp. S'all good. At least I tried right?

Anyways, today, I had a 'first'. Someone asked me for my number AHAHAHAHA. Someone's left me their number before, but this person asked, and I said no, and he said 'please?' LOL and I said no again, and he said "Could I at least have your name?"

Like I was not interested in this person at the least, and that's why I said no all three times, but I had the biggest smile on my face afterwards because NOBODY had ever asked me that and I'm trying to blog this story in the most modest way in possible because it's pretty egotistical to go "OMGZ SOMEONE ASKED FOR MY NUMBERZ" but its never ever happened to me, and I was really really happy that someone found me attractive - I know its silly because that sounds like really low self esteem but I used to have a boy that would tell me and make me feel like the prettiest girl in the world, but he stopped and he's not around anymore so I haven't felt that way for a while.

SO WHAT ELSE HAPPENED?

Well I had really stomach pains throughout the whole entire day for some reason - really sharp and painful and it hurt to inhale. After the bellringer exam I still decided to get my haircut as scheduled.

Ok I just told her how I wanted it, and what color I wanted it.

I NOW HAVE BOA'S HAIRCUT AHAHA I like it but the hair colors super light :X  I look kinda fob - and I'm sayin this now right after the haircut - I don't know how it'll look tomorrow without the styling.

Erm. Then my friends met me up at the hairsalon. Talked for a while, while I was getting my hair done.

Went out for sushi - still with incredible stomach pains - I was almost in tears, and for some dumbass reason I agreed to have smores at McDonalds afterwards. The pain was too bad and I couldn't have smores and they decided to take me home immediately afterwards. It didn't help to hear Miley Cyrus's USA song play - I've read about it in MLIA and blogs but had never heard of it. Then it started blasting in my friend's car and I decided to start screaming LOL

Home, mother made me feel better, and now I'm here, blogging and about to go to do my essay but maybe napping first :)

PICK-CHAS

I took this a long time ago and I just recently found it - Broadway and Cambie :D I took it with digital camera - pretty amazing results.

Now cellphone pics - walking to bus stop - this place is gorgeous. I'm going to live here one day

Exploring library

Upon entering library that night

DISCOUNT MASHED POTATOES

REALLY CUTE GEESE WALKING IN A LINE NEAR CAMPUS TRACK <3 so CUTE

Campus library at night <3